I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma just 2 weeks after learning I was pregnant with my fourth child. I was able to have chemotherapy while I was pregnant, deliver a healthy baby and eventually graduate from Nursing School. Class of December 2011! I am now 13 years in remission and my little girl Gabbi is 13 old. This blog tells our story.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Birthday!
Today is my birthday. I celebrate another year of life! Yay :) Almost didn't make it here. Already got some good presents from the family. I'll post pics tomorrow. My birthday is the 29th. It's 12:05 a.m. I waste no time at all. haha
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Christmas and Birthdays
This month was always a big one for me. We have Christmas, my birthday, my mom's birthday and New Years this month. This will be the second year I have added the anniversary of my father's death from pancreatic cancer. He passed away December 27th, 2009. I miss my dad each and every day. He loved this time of year. There was nothing like Christmas and family and lots and lots of food for my dad. I can miss him now with a smile instead of all the tears. I do still get sad but I also remember the good times more than those awful sad times when he was so sick.
I also lost a dear friend on December 28th, 1992. I remember her as well. Her life was cut too short in a car accident at the tender age of 16. Miss you Rocky. Miss you dad. Always remembered! Never forgotten.
As for me, I will be another year older on the 29th. I am finally at the age where I no longer have the desire to TELL you how old I'll be. I don't lie but I do like to leave people guessing. haha Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!
I also lost a dear friend on December 28th, 1992. I remember her as well. Her life was cut too short in a car accident at the tender age of 16. Miss you Rocky. Miss you dad. Always remembered! Never forgotten.
As for me, I will be another year older on the 29th. I am finally at the age where I no longer have the desire to TELL you how old I'll be. I don't lie but I do like to leave people guessing. haha Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Village Photos
If you are reading through my blog and pictures are missing they should be back eventually. Village Photos has been down now for about 4 months I think. I am so upset because I have been paying for a service that I am not receiving. I am assuming they will see some lawsuits at the end of this. You can't have people pay for a service that does not exist. First their site was just down. I only got information from other people complaining on an ebay message board. Now I see a notice when I go to their page. They have made up a lot of excuses but it's come down to them moving their facility to a new location. The problem is their site has said they hope to be up in a week for a month now. I am beginning to lose hope. I have linked my pictures to my blog through them for a very long time now. Hopefully there won't be too many dead links. Just know that they should be back up. I just do not know for sure when.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Dairy Free Chocolate Chip Cookies. Seriously!
Since Gabbi has had this allergy to milk I have had to be quite creative. I have made her wacky cake which is dairy free. If you don't know what that is, you need to google it or go to allrecipes.com. There are many variations but I have my favorite. I have always wished Gabbi could have a freshly made chocolate chip cookie. That seemed like an impossible thing to whip up since it requires butter and chocolate chips. I managed to find the way to do it today! Here is my "secret".
First look for this at your local grocery store:
The above is milk free. It does contain soy. The chips are made from chocolate liquor and cocoa butter which is vegan. It DOES say to add butter, however I substituted 1 cup Crisco plus 2 tbsp of water for the butter. The back of the container of Crisco says that this is the substitution for 1 cup of butter which is what these cookies require.
First look for this at your local grocery store:
The above is milk free. It does contain soy. The chips are made from chocolate liquor and cocoa butter which is vegan. It DOES say to add butter, however I substituted 1 cup Crisco plus 2 tbsp of water for the butter. The back of the container of Crisco says that this is the substitution for 1 cup of butter which is what these cookies require.
This is my happy little camper tearing into her cookies :)
And this is the actual cookie. They turned out nice golden brown. The texture is a little more gritty than a regular chocolate chip but great regardless. I thought they were wonderful and a great substitution for the milky alternative. :)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I Did It!
It's been many years since I made the decision to go back to school. I was stopped in my tracks by cancer not to mention having another baby. It was a rough road but I made it. I beat cancer, I had my baby, I went back to school AGAIN and Saturday my dreams came true. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree. Thanks to all those that supported me and encouraged me! I am on cloud nine and still can't believe it.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Nursing Books for Sale
I'm going through the ones I don't use anymore. I have quite a few for sale. I try to offer fair prices that compete with those on Ebay. If you are interested here is a link to all those for sale:
http://www.ebay.com/sch/trust404/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25&_trksid=p3686
If you are not interested, well, don't look. I cannot wait until December 10th!!!!!!
Oh and I have my first interview on December 2nd. Wish me luck.
http://www.ebay.com/sch/trust404/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25&_trksid=p3686
If you are not interested, well, don't look. I cannot wait until December 10th!!!!!!
Oh and I have my first interview on December 2nd. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Graduation in 31 Days!!!!
I'm getting so crazy anxious and nervous with finals coming up. There is so much to do, and so little time. It's like HERE now. I am so ready. This blog has followed me through it all. I haven't spent as much time here lately because I've been focused on my studies but I'm on my way back! I am so ready to graduate.
I'm on the top row here 5th one from the left.
I'm on the top row here 5th one from the left.
Here I am, all ready to graduate. December 10th, 2011. That's the day I will be in my cap and gown.
Monday, October 24, 2011
So What's up With Entrecard?
My widget has not been working and I keep getting errors. Now I go to campaign on the website and it is not finding widgets on anyone's blog. I need details! Thanks to all of those entrecard bloggers for any replies! I want to know as well when it might be fixed.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
It Makes Me So Sad, Please Help Spread the Word!
I would like for people to share my story. Tell others. Spread it around. Tell people chemo may be possible in pregnancy. Watch the shock on pretty much everyone's face. You'll get that a lot. I just read a story about a mother who decided to not have chemo so she could save her unborn baby's life. I don't know the details, like what chemotherapy she had, but I am practically jumping out of my skin here. So many mothers think their only choice is to delay treatment. This is what ultimately resulted in this woman not surviving her cancer. The baby did survive but the mother did not. I wish I could have told her that she could have both the chemo and the baby. At least present the option to her. I could show her my Gabbi and say "see how healthy she is?" It can be done! I realize not every person is the same and maybe she had a chemo that was not possible to have while pregnant but honestly there are so many more options than once thought. I am so frustrated when I hear people assume my baby died because I had chemo while pregnant. I think it's been long enough. Gabbi is 4 now. It's time to do more research and spread the word! How many mothers will abort because they think they have to? How many mothers will delay treatment and die? These are not the only options. I myself was told I should abort by a specialist. But that is based on old facts, not the new ones. So it's time to change the way of thinking!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Where Have I Been?
I hate those blog posts where people post about how they haven't been posting. Don't you hate those? Yeah. So I will leave that part out. School has been keeping me crazy busy and even today I am crazy busy studying for a test. I decided to take a few moments and fill in my blogger world on what is happening in my life. I graduate in 55 days. I am super excited. I have come a long way to get here. It's hard for me because I feel some take it for granted. I never would have guessed even 10 years ago I would be here today. Honestly when I got sick it seemed impossible that I could get here but I'm doing it. One day at a time. It's nearly pushed me over the edge of insanity but here I am.
Gabbi will be four in December. How is that for hard to believe? I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant with cancer and now my beautiful miracle baby is a healthy, happy almost 4 year old. Time flies. Pretty soon she'll watch her momma graduate. She's my little inspiration too. Don't ever give up on your hopes and dreams. Nothing can stop you, but you.
Gabbi will be four in December. How is that for hard to believe? I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant with cancer and now my beautiful miracle baby is a healthy, happy almost 4 year old. Time flies. Pretty soon she'll watch her momma graduate. She's my little inspiration too. Don't ever give up on your hopes and dreams. Nothing can stop you, but you.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I've Done it All, But What's the Hardest??
Right now? I would say nursing school is the hardest thing I've done. Considering I'm a mom to 4 girls and well, a husband. That's hard work! lol I also was pregnant with cancer. I went through some serious trials as a child well up until I turned 18 and moved on with my life as an adult. I have always led what I called an interesting life. Hang out with me long enough, you'll see what I mean. There is never a lack of excitement. Nursing school is hard work. It's so hard that when I hear of someone coming in and just starting I feel SUPER sorry for them. You have to give up your life basically for 2 years. I did 2 years of prerequisites. Then I went to the actual nursing school for 2 years. I will graduate in December. It has been a long road and honestly there have been days when I asked myself "What the hell do you think you are doing???" I never had any idea I would be all grown up and say hey, you know what I want to be when I grow up? A nurse! That's supposed to be decided when you're young right? Well, when I was in high school my whole goal in life was to be on the news. I was going to major in radio and television broadcasting. I was going to minor in journalism. I had it all planned. Then I was 19 and got married. That was where it all changed.
I have been overloaded with homework, stress, zero family time. It's hard. I want nothing more than to cuddle with my Gabbi and pinch her little cheeks. Instead I have to tell her to go play with daddy because I have homework to do. It's hard stuff. I am getting there. It's so close I can taste it. The fear never leaves. One of my classes has 3 total tests. 2 worth 20% and the last worth 30% of my grade. There is absolutely NO room for error. You have got to be good at this stuff now. It's the home stretch!
I have been overloaded with homework, stress, zero family time. It's hard. I want nothing more than to cuddle with my Gabbi and pinch her little cheeks. Instead I have to tell her to go play with daddy because I have homework to do. It's hard stuff. I am getting there. It's so close I can taste it. The fear never leaves. One of my classes has 3 total tests. 2 worth 20% and the last worth 30% of my grade. There is absolutely NO room for error. You have got to be good at this stuff now. It's the home stretch!
Friday, August 12, 2011
School and Checkups
I had another healthy checkup this month. I saw my Oncologist who decided to schedule my next appointment for mid December. He wants to see me after I graduate. He offered letters of reference and referral. He keeps telling me that which is awesome.
I guess in some ways I'm kind of lucky. My desire is to work in Oncology. If I had not gone through all I went through I never would have chosen Oncology. I saw it as sad and depressing. I think the whole experience opened my eyes. When people ask how I can handle working in that field I am reminded of when I was sick. As soon as you tell someone you have cancer they look at you like you're already dead. It's true. I hated telling anyone because I wanted to stress to everyone that I wasn't a walking dead woman. I was a person, fighting an illness that I fully intended on beating. I would go in and get chemo for hours. I would sit next to other people who were getting their treatments. I would talk to them and get to know them. They all have a story. They have brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and children who love them. They are human and being around them wasn't scary or depressing at all. It was nice having someone to sit there and talk to that knew what you were feeling. It's hard to explain but I knew after a few treatments in that Oncology was the field I needed to be a part of. I'm getting close! I hope I can inspire even one patient. That will make it all worth it.
I guess in some ways I'm kind of lucky. My desire is to work in Oncology. If I had not gone through all I went through I never would have chosen Oncology. I saw it as sad and depressing. I think the whole experience opened my eyes. When people ask how I can handle working in that field I am reminded of when I was sick. As soon as you tell someone you have cancer they look at you like you're already dead. It's true. I hated telling anyone because I wanted to stress to everyone that I wasn't a walking dead woman. I was a person, fighting an illness that I fully intended on beating. I would go in and get chemo for hours. I would sit next to other people who were getting their treatments. I would talk to them and get to know them. They all have a story. They have brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers and children who love them. They are human and being around them wasn't scary or depressing at all. It was nice having someone to sit there and talk to that knew what you were feeling. It's hard to explain but I knew after a few treatments in that Oncology was the field I needed to be a part of. I'm getting close! I hope I can inspire even one patient. That will make it all worth it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Votes
I entered a contest with a pic of my "favorite" guy on facebook. It's really simple. The pic with the most likes wins. I have a little over 40 now. Those in the lead have over 100!!! I was winning in the beginning and now I'm getting creamed. I would really appreciate any votes I can get. So simply follow this link to my photo: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=523108322886&set=o.28162239860&type=1&theater
To like this photo you'll have to first like the page Johnny's Italian Steakhouse. After that just click like on my photo. I appreciate the votes. I would win a few steaks. Honestly I just want to actually win something, but you can't win unless you try!
To like this photo you'll have to first like the page Johnny's Italian Steakhouse. After that just click like on my photo. I appreciate the votes. I would win a few steaks. Honestly I just want to actually win something, but you can't win unless you try!
Relaxation and Wanting a Beach
This vacation has been about rest, relaxation and family. I have missed my girls and really enjoyed the time off to spend with them. It's almost over. I never really went anywhere. I read about everyone going to exotic places taking these great vacations and I haven't stepped foot out of boring Illinois. I am ready to leave this place and do something exciting. I need a beach. I want a beach!!! I graduate in December. Maybe I'll find that beach someday.
Monday, July 18, 2011
GRRRRRR Spam!
OK I had decided to remove the captcha things again because after all, who wants to type in a bunch of little letters to confirm your comment right? I figured it would increase the comments on this blog. All it did was increase my spam. I get so many at night it is not even funny. Blogger does seem to catch a lot but I still get them all in my email. I am beyond irritated. I want to make this blog easier for my genuine readers but this isn't a place to just promote your product. Back to the captchas. Sorry folks. And phhhhhhhhbbbbbt to the spambots!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Does Not Reading a Book Series Make you More Cool?
This irritates me more than about anything that's irritated me lately. My first daughter was born in 1997. One year later we started renting a house that was bigger since we were starting a family. I got a subscription to Disney magazine for my then 1 year old daughter. In that magazine it frequently wrote book reviews for kids. I love to read so this is something that always caught my eye. I love Fantasy, Inspirational and even Horror. My favorite author list is about as odd as you can get. I love J.K Rowling, Janette Oke and Stephen King. Seriously.
I read a review for a book that was pretty popular. It was called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I needed something new to read so I bought it. I fell in love with Harry, Hogwarts and the whole magical world. I have always loved magical stories since I was a kid. This was perfect. I read the books as they came out. Each one was as good as the last to me. Then they started making movies and it exploded all at the same time into a giant craze. Now people who don't read the books have this idea that somehow because they are not into the series they are cool or something. I hear people get angry about it. I wouldn't watch that movie!!! I'll never read those books!!! It's so stupid!!! ooooookay. Why do people get mad because something got so popular? Star Wars got big. Star Trek was huge. Now it's Twilight. I haven't read a single Twilight book but someday maybe I will. I haven't watched the movies either. I like the Southern Vampire Series though. I have read 3 of those and plan to read more. For those who do not know, there is a series based on the books. It's called True Blood. Yeah....it was a book. Surprise.
I love to read and I'm a Harry Potter fan. I'm a mom and my kids don't read the books. I do. I love it. I think J.K. Rowling is one talented author. She brings people into a world of magic and fantasy. The movies are great too. The books are by far better. I hate to say not watching a movie doesn't make you any more "cool". Those of us who are fans don't think you're cool by bashing it either. If you are truly not interested then my guess is that you wouldn't need to draw so much attention to yourself about not being interested.
I read a review for a book that was pretty popular. It was called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I needed something new to read so I bought it. I fell in love with Harry, Hogwarts and the whole magical world. I have always loved magical stories since I was a kid. This was perfect. I read the books as they came out. Each one was as good as the last to me. Then they started making movies and it exploded all at the same time into a giant craze. Now people who don't read the books have this idea that somehow because they are not into the series they are cool or something. I hear people get angry about it. I wouldn't watch that movie!!! I'll never read those books!!! It's so stupid!!! ooooookay. Why do people get mad because something got so popular? Star Wars got big. Star Trek was huge. Now it's Twilight. I haven't read a single Twilight book but someday maybe I will. I haven't watched the movies either. I like the Southern Vampire Series though. I have read 3 of those and plan to read more. For those who do not know, there is a series based on the books. It's called True Blood. Yeah....it was a book. Surprise.
I love to read and I'm a Harry Potter fan. I'm a mom and my kids don't read the books. I do. I love it. I think J.K. Rowling is one talented author. She brings people into a world of magic and fantasy. The movies are great too. The books are by far better. I hate to say not watching a movie doesn't make you any more "cool". Those of us who are fans don't think you're cool by bashing it either. If you are truly not interested then my guess is that you wouldn't need to draw so much attention to yourself about not being interested.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Mixed Feelings
This August I will start my final semester of nursing school. I am so anxious to get started and graduate in December. This blog has followed my whole journey through school. I started nursing school right after my dad died. It has all been a really stress filled time for me. I have enjoyed school as stressful as it has been. I have made a lot of great friends. I have to say though, I am still not super anxious to get back to the stress. We have SO much work to do once we are there. Literally when we start it's non-stop. We have very high expectations there. This is a good thing if you want a good nurse but it also means we as students are pushed to our limits.
I am really really enjoying my vacation! I have been relaxing and visiting family. I have had some stress over the past few weeks with family and then being sick. I have a nasty cold combined with laryngitis right now. Other than that? I am great. The thought of vacation coming to an end in 1 month is sad to me, however it also means I'm that much closer to my graduation!
I am really really enjoying my vacation! I have been relaxing and visiting family. I have had some stress over the past few weeks with family and then being sick. I have a nasty cold combined with laryngitis right now. Other than that? I am great. The thought of vacation coming to an end in 1 month is sad to me, however it also means I'm that much closer to my graduation!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Blog Taking FOREVER to Open
I noticed these past few days that my blog was taking forever to load. A big no no in the world of blogging is having a page that takes forever to open. People just do not hang around waiting forever for a page to load. I try to clean up my page on a regular basis and archive things weekly. Basically I had only one clue. It seemed what it was stuck on was something called track.mybloglog.com. I noticed it was taking FOREVER to load this. I didn't even really remember using this script so I decided to look it up and the website just kept taking me to the yahoo main page. I figured it was something I no longer needed if I couldn't remember what it was. I removed the script and my page loaded for me instantly after that. I am not sure what was going on, but I'm hoping it's fixed now! I know my attention span is limited when it comes to loading blog pages as well!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
What I've Been Watching, Please Comment
I don't mean to comment here, but that would be great too. I have been watching this man's youtube video posts. He has melanoma and the treatments have not worked. The cancer has spread. I commented on his video but I wonder if maybe we all showed some support maybe he would be comforted. I know when I was sick just hearing the kind words from others made me feel uplifted. Thanks to anyone who posts a comment.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Video Diary Number 2 of a Fellow Pregnant With Cancer Survivor Liz
I posted the first video to this quite some time back. If you haven't seen it, go here: http://youtu.be/vgQEjBwO5l4
The second video is here and I will post the third tomorrow.
The second video is here and I will post the third tomorrow.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Working During Cancer Treatments?
I hear about people working and continuing with their lives all the time and it's crazy to me because I was totally bedridden. I couldn't breathe if I moved. I would go into crazy coughing fits and feel like knives were stabbing me in my left shoulder. After several chemos I was feeling a ton better though still very tired and weak. I had a hard time standing for long, much less cleaning the house. I was pregnant as well, so I wonder how much of it was the combination of the two. I did have a specialist tell me without treatment I wouldn't last 3 weeks though. So I was obviously pretty bad. I hate that I never had a specific determination of staging. I could not have a CT or a PET scan. I was pregnant. I had an MRI initially and they saw the tumor but they had to biopsy it to confirm it. The MRI was only of my upper body so I was always left with this nagging curiosity about what stage I was? I read the papers my doc sent with me to the specialist. He referred to it as a large bulky tumor. I know it was up in the lower part of my neck and in my chest. He once referred to it as a volleyball...which if you know me, you know there isn't a lot of room in my chest for a volleyball.
I go to school with a woman who has been battling cancer yet she perseveres and I have so much respect for her. When people see her and think wow, good for her. I think wow, oh my God, isn't she tired? Are her legs burning from standing so long? Is she out of breath? Does she feel faint? How is her pain? I know how I felt and I know I could not have worked. I couldn't stand in front of the stove to cook. I was about 28 weeks pregnant when I went to a wedding and even then I watched in envy while others danced at the reception because I could not do it. I didn't have the energy and it made me hate everyone who did. Luckily that is all behind me now. I just can't imagine having cancer and working or going through school. I know how hard it is. I couldn't have pushed myself. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. I couldn't move....until after several treatments. If others were too sick to work, or if you were able to work leave a comment. I'm curious how many others were in the same position as myself without the ability of getting around like that.
I go to school with a woman who has been battling cancer yet she perseveres and I have so much respect for her. When people see her and think wow, good for her. I think wow, oh my God, isn't she tired? Are her legs burning from standing so long? Is she out of breath? Does she feel faint? How is her pain? I know how I felt and I know I could not have worked. I couldn't stand in front of the stove to cook. I was about 28 weeks pregnant when I went to a wedding and even then I watched in envy while others danced at the reception because I could not do it. I didn't have the energy and it made me hate everyone who did. Luckily that is all behind me now. I just can't imagine having cancer and working or going through school. I know how hard it is. I couldn't have pushed myself. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand. I couldn't move....until after several treatments. If others were too sick to work, or if you were able to work leave a comment. I'm curious how many others were in the same position as myself without the ability of getting around like that.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Could Gyro be one of the Most Mispronounced Words?
It seems that this word is so frequently mispronounced that no one ever says it right. Recently my husband ordered one at our local sub express. This has been a new item on the menu and we absolutely love them. Well when he went in and asked for a gyro (pronounced *yeer-oh*), the lady had no clue what he was talking about. She stared at him blankly and then said ooooh you mean a *guy-ro* (how she pronounced it). Of course my husband just said yeah sure. But this is incorrect. If you look it up you'll see it is pronounced properly in this way:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/audio.pl?gyro0002.wav=gyro
I'm not trying to give a grammar lesson here, but if you're going to sell them, my recommendation is to know how to pronounce it. It's crazy if everyone comes in ordering it differently but I have heard this word said in so many different ways it's not even funny. I'm hoping if someone is coming along and wants to know how to say it, they can simply look here. There you go. I've helped you out today. ;)
http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/audio.pl?gyro0002.wav=gyro
I'm not trying to give a grammar lesson here, but if you're going to sell them, my recommendation is to know how to pronounce it. It's crazy if everyone comes in ordering it differently but I have heard this word said in so many different ways it's not even funny. I'm hoping if someone is coming along and wants to know how to say it, they can simply look here. There you go. I've helped you out today. ;)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Hmmm Cupcake or Chocolate Chip Cookie?
Can't decide? To hell with it. Have both!!!! I love the facebook page Bake it In a Cake. They are aaaaamazing. They also have a website here: http://bakeitinacake.com/. The possibilities are endless. I saw a picture of a chocolate chip cookie in a cupcake so I had to try it. They turned out PERFECT. :) I never found a recipe. I just made it myself based on the idea. It wasn't hard. See for yourself....and drool. :)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Omelet or Omelette?
Apparently it can go either way but Americans prefer the Omelet spelling. I am not like most Americans and apparently neither are other Americans I converse with because we chose the Omelette spelling. My computer is editing me or trying to correct this spelling but it is how I have always spelled it and preferred to spell it. So I think I will leave it. I have been watching an excessive amount of Food Network lately so I started getting some great ideas for meals. I will be making deep fried mac and cheese wrapped in bacon this week for some family coming over. That's gonna be fun. I make a killer lasagna...seriously. It's perfect I have to say.
Today I made a taco omelette. I threw some ingredients together. I didn't find a recipe because this was something I already knew how it should be in my head. If I LIKED eggs I would add to my own onions and some tomato. I might even possibly add a few chives. Since I do not like eggs I just go by what everyone else in my family tells me. I look for the beautiful golden brown color to tell me it's ready. I make sure the insides are covered in cheese and good and melty. I added a nacho cheese and a cheddar cheese. I sprinkled some taco flavoring into the eggs as well as using taco flavored meat. I wanted the taco flavor to extend beyond just the filling. I added some other ingredients as well like taco sauce and a bit of sour cream in the actual eggs. It turned out great. Everyone loved them. I made tacos last night, which is why I thought this up. :)
Today I made a taco omelette. I threw some ingredients together. I didn't find a recipe because this was something I already knew how it should be in my head. If I LIKED eggs I would add to my own onions and some tomato. I might even possibly add a few chives. Since I do not like eggs I just go by what everyone else in my family tells me. I look for the beautiful golden brown color to tell me it's ready. I make sure the insides are covered in cheese and good and melty. I added a nacho cheese and a cheddar cheese. I sprinkled some taco flavoring into the eggs as well as using taco flavored meat. I wanted the taco flavor to extend beyond just the filling. I added some other ingredients as well like taco sauce and a bit of sour cream in the actual eggs. It turned out great. Everyone loved them. I made tacos last night, which is why I thought this up. :)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Proactiv
I haven't been using it as much lately since my face hasn't really been needing it. So I have a bunch of extra bottles that are sort of stock piling around here. I decided to sell them on ebay. I use Proactiv and I also use Oil of Olay products which I LOVE. They are awesome and do the best job at moisturizing my face. I also like Smashbox which has a great under eye brightener. It's amazing. I can say first hand Proactiv does indeed work. HOWEVER. I have a huge suggestion for those interested in trying it. Use it faithfully, morning and night. Once you clear up, don't use it every day. Change it up. The reason is that eventually your face can and will adjust to it. Mine did. I used it for like 8 years. It had been amazing and when I broke out again it didn't control it. I stopped using it and stopped using anything with Benzoyl Peroxide for a couple of months, then used it again and guess what? It worked. Now I just use it occasionally and I am fine. I needed it way back in the day...but not as much anymore. I never had "acne" but I would have the bad breakout. It always opens the pores and exfoliates so the skin just looks better. It can dry out the skins so a good moisturizer is a MUST.
If you are interested in the proactiv I listed them pretty low on ebay. Not sure how much I will get but what the heck right?
If you are interested in the proactiv I listed them pretty low on ebay. Not sure how much I will get but what the heck right?
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Facebook Support Group
I decided to start a support group through facebook. If you are looking for support, have questions, etc I'm hoping this will be a good place to go. I am here to answer questions on my blog too so by all means, if you have a question, I will do my best to answer it. I see through searches that there are a lot of people coming to my blog by searching for things like "my wife is pregnant with cancer" or just "can I have chemo while pregnant" etc. I hope to help as many people as possible in my lifetime. I won't be stopping at just offering support. I am getting involved by going into nursing and into the field of oncology. I hope as I increase my own knowledge that it will continue to help others. Here is the link to my facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_168089259921374
Please let me know if for some reason it does not work.
Please let me know if for some reason it does not work.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Baking a Wacky Cake With Gabbi
I talked so much about Wacky Cake this week that I decided to make it. Gabbi loves it. She can only have certain cake because it has to be 100% milk free. She has the milk allergy as most know. Since she is 3 I have considered letting her try more things, however recently I gave her something and she seemed to get some discomfort. No puking but a couple of dry heaves and a bad nights sleep. I decided to hold off on it for awhile longer yet. In the meantime Gabbi can enjoy this cake that has NO milk, butter etc. Just by coincidence it has no eggs either. It was introduced during the Depression era when milk and eggs were scarce. They figured out a way to still have cake. The secret? Vinegar. That is right. Vinegar in a cake. It combines with the baking soda and there you have it. A perfect chocolate cake that my little girl can enjoy. I make a homemade frosting to go with it that you can find on this blog. If you look through the tags for my blog on the right hand side, scroll down a bit and look through the list for the word "frosting" you will find my recipe. It is PERFECT and a huge hit around this house.
Gabbi and I had a ton of fun tonight. It's just an 8x8 cake. Neither she nor I need a huge cake around this house so I make a small one. For that recipe I'll just post this link: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Wacky-Cake-VIII/Detail.aspx
There are plenty of different recipes online. This is the one I like. Snickerdoodles (the cookie) are milk free too. Gabbi can have those. I love finding treats I can make for her. People are surprised at how moist and delicious this cake is. I prefer it over a box mix any day of the week and over any other homemade chocolate cake I've ever made. It's delicious. Here are pics of us tearing up the kitchen making the cake. It was the very first time Gabbi actually got to help me make it!!! She did a great job. :)
For those who do or do not notice, yes I have a beta fish who lives on my counter. I love him and he's been with us for a couple of years. This guy has had a long life for a fish I think. I keep meaning to check the lifespan for those fish. His tank needs a cleaning. I had a couple snails in there keeping it clean but they died. They do a GREAT job at cleaning that tank. I need to get a couple more.
Gabbi and I had a ton of fun tonight. It's just an 8x8 cake. Neither she nor I need a huge cake around this house so I make a small one. For that recipe I'll just post this link: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Wacky-Cake-VIII/Detail.aspx
There are plenty of different recipes online. This is the one I like. Snickerdoodles (the cookie) are milk free too. Gabbi can have those. I love finding treats I can make for her. People are surprised at how moist and delicious this cake is. I prefer it over a box mix any day of the week and over any other homemade chocolate cake I've ever made. It's delicious. Here are pics of us tearing up the kitchen making the cake. It was the very first time Gabbi actually got to help me make it!!! She did a great job. :)
For those who do or do not notice, yes I have a beta fish who lives on my counter. I love him and he's been with us for a couple of years. This guy has had a long life for a fish I think. I keep meaning to check the lifespan for those fish. His tank needs a cleaning. I had a couple snails in there keeping it clean but they died. They do a GREAT job at cleaning that tank. I need to get a couple more.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunny Days
Finally! It's hot. I see sun. I am so sick of a rain I could puke. Quite literally I am just tired of it. I hear it's supposed to be around 95 today. I am all for it. I am not so fond of the humidity they are saying will come along with it, but oh well. Take the good with the bad. I am tired of winter. We had so much snow this past winter starting way back in November. We had so much snow they didn't know what to do with it all. I am ready for swimming, sun tans, and vacations! :) I am sure there will be a fair share of parties this summer as well. Bring it on! :)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Cute Video of the Year
I already posted this to my facebook and I'm sure most have already seen it, however if you haven't, well you have to. It's one of the cutest videos I have ever seen. If you do not saw awwwww then, well, you are stronger than me. haha
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Add My New Domain Name to Your Blog Roll and I'll add Yours
I changed my domain name. I need to start promoting this link http://www.pregnantcancer.com. It took me a long time to get what I got with the old link so if you have me with my old link or if you'd just like to add the new one please do so. The old one is still ok because it will lead you here anyway. I just want to be sure that anyone who googles cancer in pregnancy is able to find my blog. I believe it is helpful to hear someone's story that has a positive ending. So many people come here wondering because they themselves, a loved one, sister, wife is pregnant with cancer. It's a scary thing to go through.
That being said, if you add me to your blog roll or put my link on your page, drop your link here and I'll add it to my blog roll. :) Thanks!
That being said, if you add me to your blog roll or put my link on your page, drop your link here and I'll add it to my blog roll. :) Thanks!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Love Thunderstorms
I realize that the weather has been horrible this spring but I usually absolutely love thunderstorms. I almost feel like that small pleasure has been taken from me because of all the damaging tornadoes this year. I normally never really worry too much about it. I have a nice full basement complete with a kitchen, etc. This year though I have been a little more watchful just because of the fact that the storms seem to be changing rather quickly from just a storm to dangerous. It hasn't been that way here yet and after another round of watches and warnings it seems to have passed again.
I do love a good storm though. I find them so relaxing. I like to just sit and watch. I love the smell of a thunderstorm on a really hot day.
On a different note I got another copy of Health Magazine today. The letter of the month was referring to the Pregnant With Cancer story. So cool. She won a camera for being chosen the letter of the month. Sweet!!! :)
I do love a good storm though. I find them so relaxing. I like to just sit and watch. I love the smell of a thunderstorm on a really hot day.
On a different note I got another copy of Health Magazine today. The letter of the month was referring to the Pregnant With Cancer story. So cool. She won a camera for being chosen the letter of the month. Sweet!!! :)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Finally Bought My Own Domain Name! :)
You may be redirected when coming to my blog. My new blog link is www.pregnantcancer.com. I really felt it was time that I owned my own blog name. I have had this blog for a long time. I think it has helped people as well. My desire when starting this blog was just to have a place to pour my heart out when I was so worried and scared about whether or not I was going to be ok, and if I could have my baby while going through such a horrible experience. We did make it and now my goal is to get that word out. I want other women who are scared to find this blog and not just all the worst case scenarios out there that aren't offering hope. What we need at this time is hope and faith. I think it's important to think positively when going through something like this. Chemo can be given during pregnancy. Cancer can be beaten during pregnancy and the baby can make it too. I noticed that I had to re-add the networked blog widget from facebook. If you follow me through facebook please re-add me. My blog will be under www.pregnantcancer.com instead of www.pregnantcancer.blogspot.com. Both links still work however. Eventually you may get redirected. I'm so glad to make this change. It's very exciting. Share the link, spread the word. I hope to help as many people as I can.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Summer Break and Bad Dreams
When I mention bad dreams you're probably thinking zombies, or monsters chasing me, or trying to eat me. My bad dreams are more of the dork variety. (dork, nerd, geek you get the picture) You see, I am on summer break. I have had a pretty grueling semester with deadlines all over the place. I had papers to write, health fairs to contribute to, tests to study for, and more. It ended so suddenly that it feels like I still have more to do. I feel like I should NOT be sitting here pondering what book I will read for fun, where I will go today or if I should shop or go to the zoo. I know, it's sad but true.
I had a dream last night that I was wrong. I wasn't supposed to be on vacation and I had missed two days of class. I then wondered what I could ever do to convince my professors that it was ok. Pathetic. I know. I had dreams at the beginning of the semester about being late to clinical. That is a very bad thing so I used to dream I was all the time. I am sleeping so well lately and loving every minute of it.....except when I have nightmares that I shouldn't be doing it. =/
I had a dream last night that I was wrong. I wasn't supposed to be on vacation and I had missed two days of class. I then wondered what I could ever do to convince my professors that it was ok. Pathetic. I know. I had dreams at the beginning of the semester about being late to clinical. That is a very bad thing so I used to dream I was all the time. I am sleeping so well lately and loving every minute of it.....except when I have nightmares that I shouldn't be doing it. =/
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Reason I Blog
It's true, I probably would have blogged about the cancer regardless, but this is the face of all I hoped for throughout that pregnancy. She is the reason my symptoms got worse, and got my butt to the doctor. She is the reason I looked forward to life, instead of fearing death. She is what gave me hope. My Gabriella Faith is now 3 1/2 years old. Amazing. :)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Statistics and Numbers Sometimes Mean Nothing
One thing that always drove me a bit batty when I was sick was the fact that as soon as someone heard I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma and knew that the cure rate was pretty good, they acted like "oh she's fine." Wait. Let me get this straight. Because a cancer has a high cure rate I am ok? I am fine? I am not sick? Or I am not as sick as someone who say has, breast cancer?
I want to set the record straight here. Hodgkin's Lypmphoma DOES have a good cure rate. It used to be almost ALWAYS fatal until they discovered the chemo regimen that could kill it. The specific drugs have changed over time. The most frequently used now would be ABVD. I have described it a few times on this blog. If you are interested in reading up on Hodgkin's and it's history here is a link: http://knol.google.com/k/hodgkin-lymphoma#
Going back to what I was saying, I suffered for a long time. I was so sick. I had a pressure in my neck that became constant. I walked around, feeling like someone had their thumbs jammed into the sides of my neck 24/7. It was always worse at night. I would have shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping, eventually wheezing and more. I felt so tired. I had a hard time walking up stairs. Talking became a chore. I got short of breath after one or 2 words. It sounded like a I had run a mile. I felt embarrassed about it. I didn't know why I was so short of breath. I had symptoms that went undiagnosed from around 2004 to 2007. By the beginning of 2007 I was packing up my house and moving. I was working very hard and cleaning, packing up boxes etc. I was pale white. I was wheezing constantly. I was so short of breath I felt like I must be sick or have asthma or something.
There were a couple of times I had coughed up some blood. When I say that, I don't mean I threw up blood. I mean, I coughed up flecks of blood. It almost looked like....a clot. Really it was odd. I told myself, that I had gotten some blood from coughing so hard. I had developed a nasty cough after all. I kept a lot of it to myself. I was scared and the docs kept saying I had an enlarged thyroid. I had a CT of my sinuses. Long story short, by the time April of 2007 rolled around I slept with 5 pillows behind my back so I could sleep sitting straight up. I was so sick. If I layed flat, I could not breathe. I had to sit up. I felt choked 24/7. I gasped for breath. I finally saw a doctor who LISTENED. I had an MRI. They found the cancer. I was in surgery on May 2, 2007. They diagnosed me for sure about a week later. The piece of tumor they had gotten out was so hard they could not cut it with the scalpel. They had to send it to the Mayo clinic for diagnosis.
While waiting for treatment to begin and laying in my bed I could not move left. I could not move right. I had to stay totally still because if I moved I could not breathe. If I moved I would be thrown into such a hideous coughing fit that it hurt. I felt pains stabbing into my left shoulder blade like someone jabbing a knife repeatedly into my shoulder. I kid you not. This is how it felt. I watched TV in my bed. I could not hug my children. I could not talk well. I thought i was dying. I knew right then and there, that if it was a terminal cancer I would want to die right then. I knew without a doubt it was wrong to make a person suffer like that. I knew it. It was hideous and cruel. Every second. Every breath hurt. Each moment ticked by like a snail crossing a highway. It dragged on and I suffered more.
So....when someone says that Hogkin's is so curable, don't forget that this is what we want for every cancer, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't cause pain and that it doesn't hurt and that people don't die from it, because they do. Don't minimize it. I felt at death's door and they told me I wasn't going to last 3 weeks without treatment. My life was saved by these chemo drugs. My daughter's life was saved as well. We are here because of it and I'm thankful for it. I have met new people recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's and they get the same thing. We are thankful for the cure rate but it still hurts and it's still scary as hell. Remember that.
I want to set the record straight here. Hodgkin's Lypmphoma DOES have a good cure rate. It used to be almost ALWAYS fatal until they discovered the chemo regimen that could kill it. The specific drugs have changed over time. The most frequently used now would be ABVD. I have described it a few times on this blog. If you are interested in reading up on Hodgkin's and it's history here is a link: http://knol.google.com/k/hodgkin-lymphoma#
Going back to what I was saying, I suffered for a long time. I was so sick. I had a pressure in my neck that became constant. I walked around, feeling like someone had their thumbs jammed into the sides of my neck 24/7. It was always worse at night. I would have shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping, eventually wheezing and more. I felt so tired. I had a hard time walking up stairs. Talking became a chore. I got short of breath after one or 2 words. It sounded like a I had run a mile. I felt embarrassed about it. I didn't know why I was so short of breath. I had symptoms that went undiagnosed from around 2004 to 2007. By the beginning of 2007 I was packing up my house and moving. I was working very hard and cleaning, packing up boxes etc. I was pale white. I was wheezing constantly. I was so short of breath I felt like I must be sick or have asthma or something.
There were a couple of times I had coughed up some blood. When I say that, I don't mean I threw up blood. I mean, I coughed up flecks of blood. It almost looked like....a clot. Really it was odd. I told myself, that I had gotten some blood from coughing so hard. I had developed a nasty cough after all. I kept a lot of it to myself. I was scared and the docs kept saying I had an enlarged thyroid. I had a CT of my sinuses. Long story short, by the time April of 2007 rolled around I slept with 5 pillows behind my back so I could sleep sitting straight up. I was so sick. If I layed flat, I could not breathe. I had to sit up. I felt choked 24/7. I gasped for breath. I finally saw a doctor who LISTENED. I had an MRI. They found the cancer. I was in surgery on May 2, 2007. They diagnosed me for sure about a week later. The piece of tumor they had gotten out was so hard they could not cut it with the scalpel. They had to send it to the Mayo clinic for diagnosis.
While waiting for treatment to begin and laying in my bed I could not move left. I could not move right. I had to stay totally still because if I moved I could not breathe. If I moved I would be thrown into such a hideous coughing fit that it hurt. I felt pains stabbing into my left shoulder blade like someone jabbing a knife repeatedly into my shoulder. I kid you not. This is how it felt. I watched TV in my bed. I could not hug my children. I could not talk well. I thought i was dying. I knew right then and there, that if it was a terminal cancer I would want to die right then. I knew without a doubt it was wrong to make a person suffer like that. I knew it. It was hideous and cruel. Every second. Every breath hurt. Each moment ticked by like a snail crossing a highway. It dragged on and I suffered more.
So....when someone says that Hogkin's is so curable, don't forget that this is what we want for every cancer, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't cause pain and that it doesn't hurt and that people don't die from it, because they do. Don't minimize it. I felt at death's door and they told me I wasn't going to last 3 weeks without treatment. My life was saved by these chemo drugs. My daughter's life was saved as well. We are here because of it and I'm thankful for it. I have met new people recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's and they get the same thing. We are thankful for the cure rate but it still hurts and it's still scary as hell. Remember that.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The Toughest 9 Months: Pregnant With Cancer
The Toughest 9 Months: Pregnant With Cancer
This is a link to the magazine article posted on their website.
This is a link to the magazine article posted on their website.
Cancer Checkup Number.....What?
I forgot! I don't remember anymore how many follow ups I have had. The first year was the hardest. Each check up I was terrified. I had nightmares. I don't anymore. I even have to have my husband tell the doctor any issues I may have dealt with because I forget or just don't think it's something to worry about. It's probably good he comes with me. I let a lot of things go I suppose. They do say nurses are the worst patients. I have forgotten though how many follow ups I have had. I know I am in my 3rd year of remission. At 5 years I'll just go every 6 months for checkups instead of every 3.
I have been exhausted lately. School is killing me I swear. I will be done with this semester in 3 weeks. Hopefully I'll get a much needed break. I need rest! It's hard and wearing me down but I'll get there. I have to keep my eye on the finish line.
I have been exhausted lately. School is killing me I swear. I will be done with this semester in 3 weeks. Hopefully I'll get a much needed break. I need rest! It's hard and wearing me down but I'll get there. I have to keep my eye on the finish line.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Health Magazine
Buy the new Health Magazine with Miranda Lambert on the cover. My story along with a few others is featured in it! :) Be sure to check it out and come back to my blog and let me know what you think. It's pretty cool. I was interviewed for that in the past couple of months and it's in this months issue. It's so wonderful to really be spreading our story!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Kittens
Just a note to all, our paralyzed kitty passed away this past week. I am not sure what all was wrong with him, but it was evidently more than I thought. The girls have been sad. The momma cat was looking for him after he passed. It's too bad. :(
We got some video of the girls playing with the kittens today. They are getting so big. This video shows the kittens chasing Angel and Gabbi. It was really cute until Gabbi stepped on the gray kittens poor paw. She was fine though! No injuries at all....but ouch! Poor thing.
We got some video of the girls playing with the kittens today. They are getting so big. This video shows the kittens chasing Angel and Gabbi. It was really cute until Gabbi stepped on the gray kittens poor paw. She was fine though! No injuries at all....but ouch! Poor thing.
Monday, April 4, 2011
What is Surreal?
You know what surreal is? Surreal is the moment you sit in a chair, prop up your legs, have a blanket tucked around you by a friendly nurse with a big smile on her face as she preps your chemo medications. She adjusts the IV bag of anti nausea medications....then begins the drip, drip, drip of these toxic medications into your body. You watch it drip in, and know that this poison may or may not save your life. What is more surreal? Having a life growing inside of you at the same time, not knowing whether or not you are saving her, or killing her. That is surreal to me.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
April Fool's Day
I may have to prank someone. I never usually do. It could be a lot of fun. I love Halloween. I love Christmas. Actually I kind of love Thanksgiving because I tell myself it's okay to pig out for once. However there really aren't other Holidays I care a lot about. St. Patrick's Day? Yeah I see people get into it but green beer never floated my boat. I would rather have a shot of something. Yes I could on St. Patrick's day but eh. It's no big deal. I can do it any day anyway. Valentine's day? I never liked days where men felt obligated to show their women love. Show it everyday or you are a fake or phony anyway. This is just my opinion of course. Easter has a great meaning behind it if you aren't thinking of hopping bunnies and candy.
Now, I have never ever really pranked anyone on April Fools Day because I frankly I stink at it. I am no good at it because I hate freaking people out. All I can say is I might just be willing to give it a shot this year.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
9 Spam Comments?? Really?
I am not sure who goes around posting pointless, random, spam comments but it's a complete waste of your time. I don't approve them. It will never be on my blog so I appreciate those only out to advertise their online casino (or whatever it may be) don't bother. I came on over to check my blog and see if I had any comments. I got excited when I saw there were nine! Wow! Until I realized they were all random, pointless 2 worded comments from the same person. Ugh! ANNOYING!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Paralyzed Kitten Photo
Just a random pic of our kitties.
Kittens
We have 5 baby kittens. My cat had kittens this spring. We had planned on getting her fixed, but since she was not a year old we really didn't think we needed to do it yet. I was wrong. She became evidently pregnant during the big snow storm. She ended up having them on the very first warm day of the year. These kittens have been growing and thriving. Just the other day I noticed one had an injury. The neck looked a little scraped but I had no idea why. I thought maybe the other kittens had chewed on him thinking it was their mother and nursed his neck. Well it seems to be healing just fine. While examining his neck I noticed his back legs are limp. They do not move at all. They do not look broken or injured...they look paralyzed. They seem thinner than the top portion of his body. I believe my kitty is paralyzed. I am so sad for him. He's so young but he's already dragging himself with his front legs. I have always had a big heart for animals. I think I get it from my dad (he did too) and as much as it drove my mother insane I believe it drives my husband insane. I feel the need to care for this animal. It could be the nurse in me too. I put antibiotic ointment on his wound...though I suspected mom would lick it off, I figured some protection to kill germs is better than none. He is with his mom (though not sure if this kitten is a boy or girl yet. Not checked it out)
I will be adopting out the kittens when they are old enough. I am worried about this little guy. It will take a big heart to want to love and care for a paralyzed kitty. I hope someone will see what a sweet little guy he is and be willing to take care of him. If no one does I know he'll have a home with me. I just am not sure if the hubby will agree with me on it! haha I have one cat and that was not something he initially wanted. I will do everything I can to care for these kittens and then make sure they go to good homes and momma kitty is getting an operation!!!
I will be adopting out the kittens when they are old enough. I am worried about this little guy. It will take a big heart to want to love and care for a paralyzed kitty. I hope someone will see what a sweet little guy he is and be willing to take care of him. If no one does I know he'll have a home with me. I just am not sure if the hubby will agree with me on it! haha I have one cat and that was not something he initially wanted. I will do everything I can to care for these kittens and then make sure they go to good homes and momma kitty is getting an operation!!!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
My Bad Ebay Experience
Well this is an Ebay/Paypal combination story. I have been selling on ebay for YEARS. Quite literally I have an account since it first came out which was probably 2001 or something. I am not sure. I haven't sold anything in awhile and I am not a power seller. I am average person who occasionally sells things. I am also a person who uses Proactiv. Yes and I love it. I have used it for years. I don't use it constantly anymore because it is a bit drying to my skin so I only use it when I need it.
Because of this sometimes I end up with extra boxes. They come in the mail automatically because it's a club. I decided to sell a box of it on ebay. I sold the box for a decent price and the customer paid for it pretty quickly. I send it and they left excellent feedback for me which is still there to this day. This sounds perfect right? All is well? No. Actually it's not. One day I got onto paypal to check my account and it was negative. Why? Well the person I sold the Proactiv too decided to say they DIDN'T buy! They claimed the money was stolen from their card and that they didn't make the purchase. Since it was contested paypal took my money back while they were figuring it out. I was to send any evidence I had that it was legit. I was in shock that this could actually happen. I sent them email correspondence and proof because of the actual auction and the positive feedback written by them. Even if say someones son took her credit card and bought it do you think he would have come back to leave me positive feedback? I don't think so. Well it just confused me so much and all I knew was they had my product either way! They had it. I shipped it to their address. I was so upset.
Paypal got back to me and said they sided in my favor. It was proven that the auction was legitimate. Here's the issue. Her credit card had to be convinced of it too before they would give me my money back. Well obviously I never heard anything about it again. I never got my money back and that ebay buyer got their product for free. I wonder how often they do it? It's a great scam isn't it? Now when you see auctions where they want only bidders with a certain amount of positive feedback bidding, you know why. It's always upset me....and I think about it now and then. What rotten people are out there. It's sad!
Because of this sometimes I end up with extra boxes. They come in the mail automatically because it's a club. I decided to sell a box of it on ebay. I sold the box for a decent price and the customer paid for it pretty quickly. I send it and they left excellent feedback for me which is still there to this day. This sounds perfect right? All is well? No. Actually it's not. One day I got onto paypal to check my account and it was negative. Why? Well the person I sold the Proactiv too decided to say they DIDN'T buy! They claimed the money was stolen from their card and that they didn't make the purchase. Since it was contested paypal took my money back while they were figuring it out. I was to send any evidence I had that it was legit. I was in shock that this could actually happen. I sent them email correspondence and proof because of the actual auction and the positive feedback written by them. Even if say someones son took her credit card and bought it do you think he would have come back to leave me positive feedback? I don't think so. Well it just confused me so much and all I knew was they had my product either way! They had it. I shipped it to their address. I was so upset.
Paypal got back to me and said they sided in my favor. It was proven that the auction was legitimate. Here's the issue. Her credit card had to be convinced of it too before they would give me my money back. Well obviously I never heard anything about it again. I never got my money back and that ebay buyer got their product for free. I wonder how often they do it? It's a great scam isn't it? Now when you see auctions where they want only bidders with a certain amount of positive feedback bidding, you know why. It's always upset me....and I think about it now and then. What rotten people are out there. It's sad!
Friday, March 11, 2011
OK What About Disappearing Readers?
This is even MORE scary! I noticed the past week that my readers went from 313 to 311!! :( I hope I am not boring anyone to tears out there with my blog. Ok I'm not really that worried. I figure if you leave than apparently I wasn't interesting enough for you, but that's ok because I'm not changing anytime soon. I do miss you and hope you stick around to hear what I have to say, but I have to write about what I write about.
My blog isn't always about cancer anymore. It's about my life going on. I started this blog to get out what I was feeling. I needed a place to vent my fears and frustrations. Now this blog is about where my life is going after cancer and how my daughter is growing up after having been what I call a "chemo baby". She's healthy and I'm sure that someone out there who is going through cancer now and maybe having to have chemo or faced with the thought is terrified. My point is to give comfort or hope to that person while at the same time just living my life.
Speaking of which my husband's birthday is on Sunday. I am trying to get a party together for him AND manage to study for my Community test and write my big senior paper as well. I also need to clean this house etc. I am realizing I am running low on time. So...what do I do? I blog!!! :)
I will never learn.
Monday, March 7, 2011
When Blogs Disappear
I have to say, it makes me very sad. I will be either searching and finding a blog, or just browsing from blog to blog and find a very promising one. I did that just today. I read a very inspiring story about a man who was in remission from Hodgkin's Lymphoma, like myself. I thought I would reply to his post. That was until I noticed his last post was July 2010. I hope that doesn't mean his cancer came back. That would be a worst case scenario. However often times I see that once a person beats the cancer they don't post anymore. They let the blog disappear into nothingness. I have to say do NOT do this! I hope this never happens to me. I don't plan on it. Why you ask? Why do you think the internet is full of worst case scenarios? Why is it only the horrible things that people find when doing a google search? The answer is simple. We only write about the bad stuff. We don't take the time to write about when it turns out good. Some of us do. I think sometimes we NEED to see that a story can have a happy ending. It doesn't always turn out badly, though the internet may lead us to believe it does.
My point here would be if you have a happy ending, talk about it! Don't be afraid to say "I'm in remission!" Or even "I'm cured!" It's nice to hear it sometimes. When I got diagnosed I absolutely refused to look for info online. I figured it would all be bad and I'd lose hope. I hope my blog does the opposite for others. There IS hope. Just look at this face. 3 years old...and I had chemotherapy the whole time I was pregnant with her. That's hope right there.
My point here would be if you have a happy ending, talk about it! Don't be afraid to say "I'm in remission!" Or even "I'm cured!" It's nice to hear it sometimes. When I got diagnosed I absolutely refused to look for info online. I figured it would all be bad and I'd lose hope. I hope my blog does the opposite for others. There IS hope. Just look at this face. 3 years old...and I had chemotherapy the whole time I was pregnant with her. That's hope right there.
My Review of Spot Scrubber Multi-Surface Cleaner
Originally submitted at CSN Stores
Features:
- Multi surface vacuum cleaner
- Versatile and portable for a convenient clean
- Multi-surface cleaning for carpets, rugs, hard floors, tile, stairs, and upholstery
- Powerful suction removes dirt and revitalizes carpets and floors
- 5 ft stretch ...
Love it!
By Sandilynn from Illinois on 3/7/2011
5out of 5
I use this a lot and just love it. I didn't think it worked as good on hard surfaces as carpet and the spray is wide, but do not mind that at all. It works wonderfully. Love it.
(legalese)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Quiet Lately
I'm wondering where everyone is. It's been really quiet around my blog lately! Are you wondering yet about the surprise I had for the girls? Well I took them to see Madagascar Live!!! They had NO idea until we walked into the foyer of the theater. They were amazed and had a really good time. :) I think I looked more forward to the excitement in their eyes then the show itself. It was a great show. We had a very good time. Gabbi had never seen anything like it. She was pretty much shrieking as soon as we walked in.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Awesomize me?
OK Let's see if this gets my score up. I recently joined this site. I think it's supposed to help with the whole social networking thing. It helps get your name out there but I really haven't done much with it yet. So I want to see how awesomized I can get just by blogging about it! Join up, awesomize me, I'll awesome you too. Just click here: http://awesomize.me/sandilynn1975.
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Red Devil
I think the most frequent question I get asked about my cancer, was the treatment. I know my treatment is ABVD. I know the drugs are Adriamycin, Bleomycin, and Viznblastine but I always forget the D. So here I am putting it on my blog, for my future reference and anyone else's. That drug is: Dacarbazine. This is the usual combination of drugs used to treat Hodgkin's Lymphoma. These drugs saved my life. I think it is important I know what they are right? I got this regimen every 2 weeks.
What is the red devil? That would be the Adriamycin. This clever little drug liked to turn the pee a beautiful red color. Luckily they warned me about this side effect. I always ended up going to the bathroom during my treatments of course. I was pregnant and sitting there for HOURS. I was always prepared for the red devil. It never failed to prove itself. The drug was red and pushed in slowly over several minutes. This is also the drug I believe caused my preterm contractions. I always always got them during the push. I suppose it could have been a delayed effect from the previous drugs but nah. It was like clockwork. It was the only serious side effect related to my pregnancy I had. Normally a little rest and it went away. But the last two treatments it landed me in the hospital. Things went well though and in the end I delivered a beautiful little lady who was 36 weeks along but I had already had the the steroid injections to help her lungs along during my preterm contractions. She was perfectly healthy and well.
So that's my story about the red devil. It earned it's name. As for information on ABVD? I found a great link. Go here for details: http://www.lymphomainfo.net/therapy/chemotherapy/abvd.html.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Suprise is Tuesday
So technically there was more than one surprise this week. I switched my carrier to Verizon from US Cellular and got myself a Droid X. That's the first exciting thing. I also got all of my kids (not counting Gabbi of course) new phones. They got Samsung Intensity II phones. They love them and they are sufficient for their needs. I am at a loss on some of the functions on my phone. Seems no matter what I do my phone thinks it isn't activated. I can't access email but I can access facebook. I can open the Blockbuster feature and even created an account and bought a movie, but could never download it. It's irritating me. I'll figure it out eventually.
The surprise I am excited about is Tuesday. I plan on getting pictures. It's exciting to me anyway! :)
On a totally different note, does anyone else think Anne Hathaway is a little wired on the Oscar's tonight? Caaaaaalm down girl.
The surprise I am excited about is Tuesday. I plan on getting pictures. It's exciting to me anyway! :)
On a totally different note, does anyone else think Anne Hathaway is a little wired on the Oscar's tonight? Caaaaaalm down girl.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Spring Break
I am getting anxious for spring break. It is coming up next week and I really can't wait. I will probably even use the time to catch up on some things but I am glad to just have some time at home. I can't believe I am just about halfway through this semester. It really doesn't seem possible.
I am also planning on getting a new phone. I really want a smart phone this time around. Any suggestions on which one I should get? I really want a phone that takes good pictures. I am tired of phones that take blurry, distorted photos. I like to take pics so that is something I have to say is required. I want Internet access, Qwerty keyboard and touchscreen. I had a phone that was just touch screen. Well when the touch part stopped working my phone was useless. I won't do that again. I also just don't do well with typing in numbers on a touchscreen. Apparently I'm a little clumsy. I was thinking I want a Droid.
Hmmm......stay tuned.
I am also planning on getting a new phone. I really want a smart phone this time around. Any suggestions on which one I should get? I really want a phone that takes good pictures. I am tired of phones that take blurry, distorted photos. I like to take pics so that is something I have to say is required. I want Internet access, Qwerty keyboard and touchscreen. I had a phone that was just touch screen. Well when the touch part stopped working my phone was useless. I won't do that again. I also just don't do well with typing in numbers on a touchscreen. Apparently I'm a little clumsy. I was thinking I want a Droid.
Hmmm......stay tuned.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
A Surprise!
I have a surprise for my kids but I can't even post what it is here! Why do you ask? Well because my blog posts directly to Facebook. This matters because my oldest has a Facebook account. Now I could keep her off of it for a couple of days until the post makes it's way off of her newsfeed but several of my daughter's friends are also on my friend's list. I have thought of many different ways the information could get back to her, so I have decided I'll just say in the next couple of weeks, I have a surprise. Now you my readers will be surprised as well! :)
Another thing is that I have been asked to do an interview for a hospital in Australia. They have read my blog and are writing a book on cancer in pregnancy. They want to include my story and will be giving me a free copy of the book and an audio of our interview. I have done interviews before for local news and I did an interview for an online radio show in the UK. The interview for the hospital is tonight over the phone. I am pretty nervous!! I have a terrible cold so the sniffles and coughs may be in effect for the duration of the interview. I'll do my best. For those not familiar with the interview that I did in 2008 for my ordeal please watch it here:
Another thing is that I have been asked to do an interview for a hospital in Australia. They have read my blog and are writing a book on cancer in pregnancy. They want to include my story and will be giving me a free copy of the book and an audio of our interview. I have done interviews before for local news and I did an interview for an online radio show in the UK. The interview for the hospital is tonight over the phone. I am pretty nervous!! I have a terrible cold so the sniffles and coughs may be in effect for the duration of the interview. I'll do my best. For those not familiar with the interview that I did in 2008 for my ordeal please watch it here:
Monday, February 21, 2011
Long Day and Missing my Dad
Today I thought I was going to just relax. First I remembered I had an online quiz. There were some complications with the scoring on this quiz according to the teacher. I really hope so because it didn't go the way I wanted it to. This was the first thing to really rub me the wrong way. I put in some effort on this quiz and I wasn't pleased at all.
The second thing that got to me was the fact that in one of my courses the section goes into detail about impending death and the signs. For those that don't frequently read my blog, I have to say I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer December 27th 2009. He started having stomach pain around April of that year. It wasn't a couple of months of sleepless nights before he turned totally yellow. He went through a million tests, gallstone surgery, etc before he developed a blood infection. The doctors sent him home on an antibiotic. It was about 1 week before Homecoming in my hometown. My dad being the huge football fan didn't want to miss it even though he wasn't feeling well. I will never forget the phone call I got from my dad. I had gotten out of a night class and he called me on my way home. He sounded quiet. The doctor's wanted him to get this major surgery called the whipple procedure. He said there was a chance it could kill him. He was terrified. He said he was going to give the antibiotics a try, go to the Homecoming game, and then do the procedure. He didn't want to miss Homecoming. Honestly, I knew without him telling me he was terrified.
The day for surgery did not come. Before he finished the antibiotics my sister called saying she went to my parents house and my dad was delusional. Something was very wrong. He was confused. They got him into the truck and took him to the hospital. It was a whirlwind. He had meningitis. He was in the ICU for about 5 days. They didn't know if he would live. He did. A bit of background, my dad was only 57. He had a massive stroke in 2004, but thanks to prompt medical attention survived that event. We almost lost him then so when we got him back I knew I wasn't ready for him to go. It was too scary to think about. Then seeing him again in a bed unconscious, was more than I could take.
He came out of it, much like after the stroke. His words were a little messed up sometimes. He improved but he was losing weight so fast. This happened in just a few months time. He had been so healthy before. He was so strong...an outdoors man. The doctors still were not sure what was going on. All we knew is that it might be cancer, but they could not find anything.
Finally after my dad, normally a pretty big guy, wasted away to almost nothing, they scheduled the big scary surgery. He had no choice. It was time for the Whipple procedure. I got to the hospital, bright and early on December 22nd, 2009. Then the doctors came and told us they couldn't do it. He definitely had cancer and it had metastasized. They were not sure what kind it was, but he had cancer.
We found out for sure later that day I believe, that it was pancreatic. This is pretty much the worst cancer you can get. Statistically speaking, it's not good. At Thanksgiving that year my dad said what he wanted for Christmas was to come home. December 24th, 2009 we brought him home. We brought in hospice which is where my class at school comes in. This is where they start talking about the things that we went through. My dad talked a bit. We had him in a hospital bed in his living room. He didn't say a lot...and his appetite was nothing. We encouraged him to eat, but nothing was happening really. Christmas day he was in and out of it, but mostly just sleeping. We all stayed by his side and his brothers and sisters came over and sang hymns around his bed. The house was wild with activity with people coming in and out. My dad became pretty much oblivious to most of it. By the day of December 27th, 2009 my dad didn't wake at all. He slept, loudly. The gurgling sounds they speak of are accurate. I looked into his eyes and they were glossy, and he wasn't really looking in the same direction with each eye. I found that to be very ominous. I had told him on the 25th that I loved him, that he was the greatest dad anyone could have and that I was sorry I had ever taken him for granted. He had shrugged with a little eyebrow raise as my dad always did...and as anyone who knows him well remembers. The evening of December 27th I had walked into the kitchen to take a little break from hearing the sounds of his struggling breaths, not knowing what moment would be his last. Suddenly my cousin came in and told me I needed to get back into the living room. My dad was making motions, but not breathing. It was it. I got on my knees and I held his hand...and watched as he moved for the last time. I will never ever forget it. I miss him so much. Gone too soon. John Hamilton born August 27, 1952, died December 27th, 2009.
So when I say that sometimes these things get to me, now you know why. How could they not? I miss him.
The second thing that got to me was the fact that in one of my courses the section goes into detail about impending death and the signs. For those that don't frequently read my blog, I have to say I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer December 27th 2009. He started having stomach pain around April of that year. It wasn't a couple of months of sleepless nights before he turned totally yellow. He went through a million tests, gallstone surgery, etc before he developed a blood infection. The doctors sent him home on an antibiotic. It was about 1 week before Homecoming in my hometown. My dad being the huge football fan didn't want to miss it even though he wasn't feeling well. I will never forget the phone call I got from my dad. I had gotten out of a night class and he called me on my way home. He sounded quiet. The doctor's wanted him to get this major surgery called the whipple procedure. He said there was a chance it could kill him. He was terrified. He said he was going to give the antibiotics a try, go to the Homecoming game, and then do the procedure. He didn't want to miss Homecoming. Honestly, I knew without him telling me he was terrified.
The day for surgery did not come. Before he finished the antibiotics my sister called saying she went to my parents house and my dad was delusional. Something was very wrong. He was confused. They got him into the truck and took him to the hospital. It was a whirlwind. He had meningitis. He was in the ICU for about 5 days. They didn't know if he would live. He did. A bit of background, my dad was only 57. He had a massive stroke in 2004, but thanks to prompt medical attention survived that event. We almost lost him then so when we got him back I knew I wasn't ready for him to go. It was too scary to think about. Then seeing him again in a bed unconscious, was more than I could take.
He came out of it, much like after the stroke. His words were a little messed up sometimes. He improved but he was losing weight so fast. This happened in just a few months time. He had been so healthy before. He was so strong...an outdoors man. The doctors still were not sure what was going on. All we knew is that it might be cancer, but they could not find anything.
Finally after my dad, normally a pretty big guy, wasted away to almost nothing, they scheduled the big scary surgery. He had no choice. It was time for the Whipple procedure. I got to the hospital, bright and early on December 22nd, 2009. Then the doctors came and told us they couldn't do it. He definitely had cancer and it had metastasized. They were not sure what kind it was, but he had cancer.
We found out for sure later that day I believe, that it was pancreatic. This is pretty much the worst cancer you can get. Statistically speaking, it's not good. At Thanksgiving that year my dad said what he wanted for Christmas was to come home. December 24th, 2009 we brought him home. We brought in hospice which is where my class at school comes in. This is where they start talking about the things that we went through. My dad talked a bit. We had him in a hospital bed in his living room. He didn't say a lot...and his appetite was nothing. We encouraged him to eat, but nothing was happening really. Christmas day he was in and out of it, but mostly just sleeping. We all stayed by his side and his brothers and sisters came over and sang hymns around his bed. The house was wild with activity with people coming in and out. My dad became pretty much oblivious to most of it. By the day of December 27th, 2009 my dad didn't wake at all. He slept, loudly. The gurgling sounds they speak of are accurate. I looked into his eyes and they were glossy, and he wasn't really looking in the same direction with each eye. I found that to be very ominous. I had told him on the 25th that I loved him, that he was the greatest dad anyone could have and that I was sorry I had ever taken him for granted. He had shrugged with a little eyebrow raise as my dad always did...and as anyone who knows him well remembers. The evening of December 27th I had walked into the kitchen to take a little break from hearing the sounds of his struggling breaths, not knowing what moment would be his last. Suddenly my cousin came in and told me I needed to get back into the living room. My dad was making motions, but not breathing. It was it. I got on my knees and I held his hand...and watched as he moved for the last time. I will never ever forget it. I miss him so much. Gone too soon. John Hamilton born August 27, 1952, died December 27th, 2009.
So when I say that sometimes these things get to me, now you know why. How could they not? I miss him.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Skechers Shape Ups?
Ok. So I have been eyeing these shoes for quite a long time now. I am thinking I want to try them out. I would like opinions. Have you tried them? If you have, what did you think? I kind of like the idea that they would help shape the butt, but honestly that's not my primary reason for wanting them. I just kind of like them. I like the look. So, if you have opinion, let me know. I may or may not buy them based on these opinions.
Here is a pair with a pink ribbon on it for breast cancer awareness. I like these too.
Here is a pair with a pink ribbon on it for breast cancer awareness. I like these too.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Valentine's Day, What Is Your Opinion?
I am not really even sure what I think about it. I don't hate it like some people do. I think the hate of any holiday is just silly. Like it or don't like it. Celebrate it or don't celebrate it....but honestly if you sit around proclaiming your hatred of it then I kind of wonder if there isn't more there. I understand if you are single, or divorced or just in between relationships why you might just want the holiday to come and go. I can understand if you are in a problematic or awful relationship why you wouldn't want to even think about a day of "love". If you get right down to it though, the problems are there whether Valentine's Day exists or doesn't exist. It may be easier to not think about it I suppose.
As for gifts for Valentine's Day I can honestly say I don't care that much. I have never needed jewelry or flowers. I am not saying I haven't gotten them...I am just saying that it wouldn't matter. I believe that a woman should get a gift for the guy as much as the guy is expected to get a gift for the woman. I don't think guys should be left out of this holiday. I don't think they should be expected to spoil the woman and have nothing in return at all. I think if you celebrate it that it should be mutual. But having said all of this, I can honestly say if you love someone that it is a continuous thing anyway. Whether or not there is a day to say it and exchange gifts to me is irrelevant. I don't dislike the holiday but I don't really acknowledge it that much. I used it as an excuse to go out and spend some money on a really nice dinner with the hubby last night! That's good enough for me ;)
As for gifts for Valentine's Day I can honestly say I don't care that much. I have never needed jewelry or flowers. I am not saying I haven't gotten them...I am just saying that it wouldn't matter. I believe that a woman should get a gift for the guy as much as the guy is expected to get a gift for the woman. I don't think guys should be left out of this holiday. I don't think they should be expected to spoil the woman and have nothing in return at all. I think if you celebrate it that it should be mutual. But having said all of this, I can honestly say if you love someone that it is a continuous thing anyway. Whether or not there is a day to say it and exchange gifts to me is irrelevant. I don't dislike the holiday but I don't really acknowledge it that much. I used it as an excuse to go out and spend some money on a really nice dinner with the hubby last night! That's good enough for me ;)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Needing Some Home Improvement
This past week my kitchen faucet broke. I couldn't turn the hot water off. I need to buy a new faucet. I think I found a good website to find that and more! You can find everything from kitchen faucets to a swing set, to cookware with CNS stores.
We absolutely need a new swing set as well. I'm thinking this spring I'm going to have to buy a new one. Our last one rusted out and is no longer usable. It could be a birthday present idea for my girls. Lexi and Mikayla both have the same birthday on March 16.
I'm going to be doing a review on a product from this website within the next couple of weeks. I will see if the products are what I'm looking for and of the quality I would expect. Stay tuned!
We absolutely need a new swing set as well. I'm thinking this spring I'm going to have to buy a new one. Our last one rusted out and is no longer usable. It could be a birthday present idea for my girls. Lexi and Mikayla both have the same birthday on March 16.
I'm going to be doing a review on a product from this website within the next couple of weeks. I will see if the products are what I'm looking for and of the quality I would expect. Stay tuned!