Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I've Got it Pretty Good

I definitely had a bad year in 2007. I could say I felt sorry for myself and throw a pity party. There were several times throughout my illness I wanted to do just that. I was never in the right place to cry. I remember choking back the tears so many times. I want to let loose but there were several reason I didn't.

1. My kids. I didn't want them to think I was going to die.
2. My husband. He was being strong for me, but I also didn't want to scare him thinking I'd lost hope. He needed to know I was tough enough to beat it.
3. I was always in front of a doctor or around the family.

So I never really just broke down. Oh I have cried. Just not ever like that. I didn't cry like I imagined I would. I get emotional during Kleenex commercials so honestly, you'd think I would have that moment. Then I come across a blog of a man who lost his wife to cancer, then his dad. Other terrible things happened to him as well. I also read another ladies blog who lost 5 people to cancer in a short time. I may have had a hard time, but you know there is always someone out there who had it harder. I am thankful for my happy ending. I am thankful I am here with my children and that I made it through something so difficult with a beauty baby too! Thanksgiving is upon us and boy do I have a lot to put on my list.

While I was going through my illness and the few times I did allow myself a few tears it was when hearing a certain song. It wasn't sitting around feeling sorry for myself either...though I think still I'd have been perfectly justified in doing so. I never really thought there was anything wrong with it. It may have been good for me even. But with my children, I just didn't want them to see that. So I listened to this song, by Lindsey Haun. The song is to a great CMT movie, Broken Bridges with Toby Keith. The song however, I relate to something completely different. Listen to the words. This song strengthened me. The words encouraged me and helped me to see a stronger, brighter, better day. I wanted to share it because honestly this song applies to anyone going through a hard time.

*video was slowing down my blog. So I removed it. Find "Broken" by Lindsey Haun on Youtube. It's a wonderful song.

4 comments:

  1. I saw you in my follow list and stopped over. Thank you so much for sharing and for persevering. Your strength is inspiring.

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  2. Thank you for sharing this. One song which gives me strength is 'The Rose' by Bette Midler. Like Heinous said, your strength is inspiring.

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  3. I agree you and I both have a lot to be grateful for! I didn't cry either not until it was all over and my follow up mammo showed something else...THEN I freaked! (Still "watching" it BTW well as good as you can without insurance).

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  4. good luck wiht your fight as you're quite courageous. As an artist, I appreciate your sketches. Want a lift? Look at the video on my blog! Is a 12 year old who won Amerioca's Got TAlent. sure to bring a smile toy your face! God Blesss,
    ann

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